““Ms. Norman” another kid called, “Have you heard about that rape case in Ohio? Those guys got convicted. They have to go to jail. They are going to lose their scholarships. They were going to D-1 schools!”
“Well…”I responded, feeling the heat crawl up my neck, “maybe they are going to jail for rape because THEY ARE RAPISTS!” I yelled those last three words at my kids and watched as some of them blinked in surprise. Apparently, the thought had never occurred to them that these athletes who were convicted of rape, were in fact rapists.
It is a strange thing about looking into the face of a 15-year-old, to really see who they are. You still see the small child that their mother sees. You see the man or woman they will be before they graduate. They are babies whose innocence you want desperately to protect. They are old enough to know better, even if no one has taught them.
I realized then that some of my kids were genuinely confused. “How can she be raped?” they asked, “She wasn’t awake to say no.” These words out of a full fledged adult would have made me furious. I did get a good few minutes in response on victim blaming and why it is so terrible. But out of the face of a kid who still has baby fat, those words just made me sick. My students are still young enough, that mostly they just spout what they have learned, and they have learned that absent a no, the yes is implied.
It is uncomfortable to think that some of the students you still call babies have the potential to be rapists. It is sickening, it is terrifying, but it is true. It is a reality we have to face. My students have lived in a world for fifteen years where the joke “she probably wanted it” isn’t really a joke, they need to unlearn some lessons that no one will admit to teaching them.
Standing in front of my classroom and stating that a woman’s clothing choice is never permission to rape her should not be a radical act. But only a few heads nodded in agreement. Most were stunned, like this was a completely new thought. The follow up questions were terrifying in their earnestness. “Ms. Norman, you mean a woman walking down the street naked is not her inviting sex? How will I know she wants to have sex?” A surprisingly bold voice came out of a girl in the back “You’ll know when she says, you want to have sex?!”
If you want to keep teens from being rapists, you can no longer assume that they know how. You HAVE to talk about it. There is no longer a choice. It is no longer enough to talk to our kids about the mechanics of sex, it probably never was. We have to talk about consent, what it means, and how you are sure you have it. We have to teach clearly and boldly that consent is (in the words of Dianna E. Anderson) an enthusiastic, unequivocal YES!”
-A selection from an excellent blog post by Abby Norman, a 9th grade teacher who, after introducing a poem to the class for discussion, accidentally found herself teaching them about consent.
This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to talk about consent as a yes instead of a lack of no. And why we must TEACH it instead of assuming that people already understand.
At the gym for the second day in a row. 1.25 miles down, 0.75 to go. Pared with a healthy lunch full of veggies, it’s a good day.
Q. whats worse than getting back a test with a zero?
A. getting back a test with 100%. brag about it. quit from school. then find out it wasent really yours. you got zero.
Oh my!
A Muslim cleric has condemned to death Amina Tyler, a young 19 year old Tunisian who published a picture of herself topless, Amina posted on her Facebook account a picture with the phrase: “My body belongs to me, and is not the source of anyone’s honor.” She is a member of the group Femen, a feminist movement emerged in Ukraine in 2008 performing their topless protests to draw attention. The unusual protest sparked rejected her own family, which is considered a “insulting the modesty of a woman” and Islam.
“This young woman according to Islamic law deserves to between 80 and 100 lashes, but she did much more than that so she deserves to be stoned to death,” the religious Tunisian daily said “Assabah News” .Amina represents us.
We the undersigned unequivocally defend Amina, and demand that her life and liberty are protected and that those who have threatened her will be immediately prosecuted.
Sign the petition herePlease sign and signal boost! This is a fucking life at stake.
I made butternut and acorn squash for the first time this week. Cooked it up with sweet potatoes and carrots and mushrooms, vegetable broth, curry powder and pumpkin pie spice. The result was a sort of sweet and spicy dish that turned out really well.
Mississippi passed a law last year requiring abortion clinics in the state to have hospital admitting privileges. In a state where the stigma surrounding abortion is extreme and hospitals can refuse any service on religious grounds, this law was written to eliminate safe, legal abortion in Mississippi.
Jackson Women’s Health Organization has been refused admitting privileges by every hospital to which they’ve applied. They can argue their case in front of the Mississippi Department of Health, and attorneys have requested an injunction while they argue the law’s constitutionality. However, if these measures fail, Mississippi could soon be the only state without safe, legal abortion.
A lack of providers means the people in Mississippi will need to travel out of state to acquire an abortion provided in a safe, sterile, legal environment. For those without money to travel, cars, a place to stay, or someone to watch their children (61% of people who have abortions already have children), this may prove an impossible task.
If you or someone you know can provide any of these things - transportation, lodging, child care, funds - please message the Abortion Assistance Blog. You can contact the blog through Tumblr’s Ask, Submit, and Fan Mail functions, or by email at abortionassistanceblog@gmail.com.
isiskali: was reading your stuff on pro lifers and the abortion debate. I’ve always wondered how conservatives justify there own abortions… do you have any examples of how they do this? i think it’s pretty hypocritical if they say one thing then do another…I do! It’s called “The Only…
Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe Twitter? These people are all just the worst people. The worst.
Wow. Sometimes it’s hard to have any faith in humanity whatsoever.
Re-watching breaking bad season 2, this show makes me so happy and sad at the same time. I can’t wait until it comes back on this summer.
